totally tubular

When the kind marketing folk at Matchstick offered to send me some samples of L'Oreal's Double Extend Beauty Tube mascara, I was faced with one of the easiest decisions I've ever had to make. Does the pope like tall elaborate hats? Yes!

The entire world of cosmetics has befuddled me for quite some time. There are only three necessaries in my beauty arsenal: Cover Girl CG Smoothers, Shu Uemera Eyelash Curler (legendary, I need not go on), and mascara (rotates between Maybelline Colossal and whatever I feel like stealing from my sister). Sometimes I'll dab on some blush (*rummage about in bathroom cabinet to find label- aha!- Tarte), but aside from those items, my little island of beauty products and expertise is quite limited. Had they offered to send concealer or bronzer, I would have had to politely decline. I have as much experience with those items as I have with unicorns.

But in the corner occupied by mascara, I've got a swinging chance and a steady amount of experience. I've been trying to plump up my lashes since my mid-teens. Alas, the same genetic heritage that has blessed me with hyper-metabolism and wrinkle-free skin has also cursed me with myopia and stick-straight stubby eyelashes!

The premise of the mascara is simple. First, you put on a layer of white goo (highly scientific term recently invented by myself) that moisturizes the crap out of your lashes and readies it for the next step. Then you wiggle on some of the black mascara, which forms tubes around your lashes for lengthening wonder.

I debuted the new lashes on Feb. 14. I figured I had already spent 400% more time than I usually do readying for my date- might as well tack on a few extra minutes to take pictures.

As you can see from the before and after picture, the Beauty Tubes fought the good fight, but in the end they were battered down by the overwhelming need for my eyelashes to be lazy and basically lie down. During the 'white' moisturizing stage, all the good curl that the Shu Uemera curler effected slowly became undone, and by the time I frantically applied the second step, they were already wilting pathetically. I was able to boost them up a bit by re-curling, which I generally try not to do after I've put on mascara; they tend to just jolt upright in a very unnatural fashion.

Despite the failure of my puny lashes to stand up, the mascara actually did lengthen (if not curl) my lashes to the max. And for lazy lasses like myself, it was very simple to remove. All I did was lightly scrub with water, and it flaked off without making me look like a raccoon/Taylor Momsen.

I was also sent an extra Double Extend Beauty Tube. The ziploc bag that normally holds my meager collection of make-up has reached its breaking point. So, if you are a gal or guy with lashes with natural curl (p.s. I hate you), feel free to leave a comment, and prepare yourself for some lash-lengthening madness. I will choose someone next week to send a wee packet of tube-y goodness.